The UNKNOWN effect

It was Christmas, so eager to see you
Managed a glimpse of you as you were busy working
I waited but left you with a lunchie & Christmas gift
I couldn't speak much with you last night

A quiet Christmas day, we didn't spoke
No calls, no sms from you today (I'm wondering)
Hmm, are you too busy or too tired? I don't know
Somehow, somewhere – this bitter feeling

Recently, it was all short & brief
I'm just speechless on many occasions
Don't know what to talk, don't know what to ask
I'm thinking - how and where should we begin?

Sigh, I know – don't EXPECT (rule of thumb) :( ...

All I want for CHRISTMAS

Hark the herald angels sing, glory to the new born king. This the season to be jolly, fa la la la la, la la la la

Xmas is coming soon, done your Christmas shopping yet? Those Christmas décors, trees and setup at major malls are just awesome. How I wish I was just a little kid, having my own Christmas Wonderland – ha ha, fast forward 28 years, Im the one standing at one side looking at all these kids having one hell of a good time.

And Christmas would not be complete without pressies, yes – PRESSIES!!! All I want for Christmas is – hmm, seems so easy but hard to figure out. I was just clueless when a close friend asked me what I want for Christmas (ermm, maybe Santa Clause?)

All I want for Christmas – World Peace & Stay Happy always, nuff said! Happy Birthday, Jesus and a blessed Christmas to everyone...

LOVE from the DISTANCE

How much patience does one need in loving that someone from afar? How come the feeling is ol' so similar? Sigh, tell me bout long distance love yeah

The cool & hot of it – are WE or are WE NOT? But we seem so REAL, so CLOSE, so REASSURING

It seems, it seems SO - but the heart & the mind doesn't seem to say the same & I'm aching in PAIN and loneliness creeps in.

I wonder how much, just how much can I hang on to this. I don't want this kind of distance, I want to be just right there

(I'm contemplating now – love me, love me not, love me, love me not, LOVE me )

Move aside, MOANERS...

Woo hoo, sweat man! Last minute drama at Emirates…

I was like- gonna off my phone man or else the amount of sms or response ill get from these MU kaki’s – you bet, appaling

2-2 draw, it was 2-1 at 82 mins when that basket RONALDO scored, I was like darn it – of all players and of all team, the worst is to lose to this bunch of basket POSERS.

After last week draw at Anfield which also came to a stalemate of 1-1, I was expecting nothing short since we made a clean double over them last season, home and away.

And it was Fabregas again, just tremendous! It was the last minute drama that sums it up-Gallas 90th minute goal, that kept them these MOANERS mouth shut.

End result, a pleasant & peaceful sleep. Way to go…

REDBOX - Banned

Banned Banned banned, RM 48++ for this kinda quality of foods and singing system? Lucky that we only paid for one headcharge as I have a free voucher but no amount of free voucher would bring me back there again.

Really can’t comprehend how REDBOX can be so bad nowadays, certainly no match to the current leading karaoke outlet in KL, Neway.

I still remember Redbox Karaoke used to be one of the more famous one but lately, their service coupled with their system is enough to leave one out. Both me and Belle Jie were cursing the minute we saw the F & B foodline and worst was the sound system sucks big time.

We sang but it was a real forceful one till we came out (and decided that we will never step foot at Red Box again). The worst was to come out from karaoke with our singing obsession not fulfilled

REDBOX's - BANNED on my list…

DIRECT - All the way, GIRL

Go straight to the point, girl! Don’t beat around the bush

That was what my daddy told me this morn during our breakfast session at the mamak as we spoke of my current issues surrounding my work environment. Err, jumping around topics and not going to the point? Or beating around the bush?

Im just thinking, thinking, thinking DEEP in my thoughts…

Am I or am I not? The thought did not once left my subconscious mind eventhough I was sop up with my never-ending meetings & stack of jobs on hand

I don’t think I can afford to not go STRAIGHT to the point now with my current position, I certainly got to know and aware clearly what the HELL I do, I say and how I carry myself (not an easy task now having 6 ppls reporting to me and not having a clue)

And as I go round and round with this in mind, it’ll certainly be a real penny for thought!

Sick, sick, sick & INHUMANE

How could they do this to her? Sigh, my heart sank deep in sadness when I read on the news that the body found in a bag belongs to the long lost little gal name NURIN who was missing since August 20.

And man, how she had to endure the pain of the inhumane act that fall upon her – what can a lil gal of 8 years old do or defend against some SADIST? Cucumber and brinjal, what animal would do that as commented by politicians, NGOs on the papers but to me, why when these kinda things happen would peoples compare it to an animal? I think ANIMAL would have better sense and compassion compare to these atrocious creatures. Couple of months ago, it was the death of 3 year old Shearwy Ooi Ying Ying that shook the nation, now another case that made the nation anger with haunts to catch that BEAST, and I know no one couldn’t agree more. Afterall, recent spate of crime cases against kids left me thinking deep - kids are no longer in safety zone now or parents are not doing enough to protect children these days?

I’m constantly worrying about my baby nieces and nephews safety afterall these cases and wouldn’t ever want to imagine such situation – whereby if I do, I tell you I would certainly have no hesitation to even put up my own life to KILL them INDEFINITELY!

We all know cases like that will bound to happen at any one time but as a society, we must all know and constantly remind ourselves on our social obligation to play as a citizen

Till then, how much and what role to play? Points to ponder...

My deepest sympathy to Nurin’s family and my thoughts and prayers are with the little gal from the bottom of my heart. The nation would not let you die in vain, and I believe strongly in KARMA, your killer would deserve his/her punishment in due time

REST IN PEACE...

And I Got "IT" Pierced

Finally, I gathered all the courage to actually have the HOLES on my ears

After 28 years of being a human, only did I finally decided to actually have it pierce despite all the persuasion and effort peoples have previously tempt me on

Like a 3 year old small kid waiting for my turn and anticipating the PAIN that it’ll do to me, imagine similar situation of INJECTION dose we need to do in primary school and no kidding, I really closed my eyes eventho my pal was there to constantly ensure that it’ll do me NO PAIN and man, we will have so much fun buying earrings. Oh man, faster…

At that spur of moment, I was only thinking quick do it or I’ll definitely walk out man!

2 BANGS & DONE…

Now I’m feeling weird as I was the one who’s labeled them as ALIEN and how i’m learning to make these things feel welcome, now you tell me!

COLD HARD CASH RACE

What time is the counter opening? Queue up, please - the counter will only open at 9.30am says the CIMB officer

7.45am and I found myself queuing up to buy the units allocated for ASW 2020

Money matters? You bet…

Thank god, PNB management limited the units to RM20,000 per person and these uncles & aunties all with so much of money (I often wonder how these peoples can have so much money) and mind you, they are all COLD HARD CASH!

The amusing thing was I guess I’m the only ONE asking for minimum lots while the rest all taruh MAXIMUM lots (aiseh, if only I’m that RICH)

In the end, I left the place a happy customer (even after 3 hrs of waiting). Thou my investment was minimal, it’s thru the limitations by the management that enable small players like us to get a taste of what these 2.06 billions units is all about

Still excited over HIM

Few more days to go – anticipating with eagerness!

Cris called me last Friday asking me how was the Karaoke session? I was like it’s cancelled since everyone can’t make it. Karaoke is enjoyed with all, not just few I said…

She apologise for her unavailability and as we plan for our next session, I told her im not free next FRI (14/9) – my bro’s coming. She was uh huh, you got brother one meh?

I was like eh – JACKY CHEUNG la, as a sister how can I not support him eh? I can hear she almost wanted to hit on me, I continued - but he’s really my brother ma coz we share the same surname and same nenek moyang ma. In my wildest dream rite, talk bout’ some really thick skin gal, hehehe!

Few more days to go before Ill let off my singing prowess too, Jacky Cheung leh – don’t ask me how much I bought the tics okay. There are only few singers I can’t miss and he’s one of them. I’ll be on the front bit, that’s all I can say!

Who doesn’t listen to him, I wonder! Been listening and singing to his tune since young and never misses his concert in Malaysia. I’m anticipating a good or great show from my so-called BRO as I know he can live up to EXPECTATION (coz Emil’s concert was a record breaker this year, so I hope his would be as good as what I’ve enjoyed last July)

And I’m counting, counting and counting down – 4 days to the good (my turn to be 在他身边)...

WANING Memory

Its been so long, what are you doing here? Alone? Not working today?

Or similar phrase…

Eh, why the weird expression on your face – you can’t recognize me? No, of course I do, so what are you doing here?

Oh man, how often have you found yourself entangled in this kinda situation? And I’m really saying when you’re caught in familiar situation but unable to recall, ah ya – recall is da’ word. Am I growing fainter? Hey but im only 28 – are these signs telling me something? It’s been more than one occasion and can't help feeling the worst

Situation One @ Me at PC Fair, KLCC – Met a friend and we called up upon one another, but I cant remember which friend of mine, but I carry on the conversation as thou as we haven’t met for ages. I left the place thinking hard and confused!

Situation Two @ Me at DM Seminar, PJ – I was listening attentively to a speaker during a seminar when a guy turned back and smile at me and my mummy. I smiled back and then I start to think, who is this guy – I know him but I can’t seem to recall. My mum smiled at him too. I thot, hmm who is he? I kept on pushing my mum, who is he, who is he? I kept asking until she told me, he is the guy from the Prawn mee shop-la, you forgotten? You’ve been eating from that shop since young, I was oh ya, its him – oh man!

Situation Three @ MMU convocation, Cyberjaya – I tell you, this is superbly MEMALUKAN. A gal walks up to me and say, hie, can’t recognize me? I was like I know her but I cant recall again. Then her dad walks up, wah – still need to charge me? I was like huh? You’re just a friend and as there were so many packages offered and many people hogging around the counter, I pass them the leaflet and says, "why don’t you go and study which one you’d like and get back to me". Whilst after that, the episode kept playing on my mind, I was trying to figure out who they were. I went in to look for my mum who was at the studio side, I asked who’s ROBE and paper bag is this? Then mum told me, it’s your COUSIN BRO’s – Ah Nee’s graduating, that’s her robe. Oh my GOD, I let out a loud thud, mum – you know what, I pass them a leaflet thinking they were some of my friends, but hey, they're my RELATIVES and I can’t recognize them, no wonder they asked me if I want to charge them. At that point of time, I really don’t know where to hide my face

Im beginning to get very afraid and as I told SK bout’ the issue, he was like “Lil gal, you don’t scare me eh your situation doesn’t sound promising – better go do some check! "

Check again? Hmm, I hope it’s not related to my partial epilepsy condition which saw me ending up in hospital early of the year, but the ECG scan has clear me, I thot. I was admitted to hospital for the condition as I fell into abrupt unconsciousness during my sleep when I was in HK last Dec. I had zero idea what happen the night before coz when I woke up, I saw white ceilings around me and then a DOCTOR asking me if I know where am I and what happen? I can’t remember a single thing and people who saw the ordeal says I was quivering all over and bit my tongue, scary (my immediate thot was at the climb of the MACAU TOWER which could be the main reason why i had an abrupt SEIZURE)

The last check I had with my neurologist few months ago was all right as I just need to continue taking my prescription. Hmm, sounds bad huh? Spoke to WIL recently about the incident at MMU and his reaction was “Champion la you, would you be able to remember me the next time we meet on the street”? I was like uh-huh, I can’t be that bad right?" And so I thought…

Chances are – I can but if I do behave unusually, do hark back at me – for you may not know this girl has actually FORGOTTEN.

Simply FAB-ULOUS

Fab-ulous or what? Fabregas does it again – that squeezed in goal with pure instant instinct, I was like phew, he really does come of age! Just Simply Fab-olous (the celeb he had with Rosicky on the goal says it all!)

Their expressions says it all, SHEER CLASS

Only last week did he score and won the match over ManC. I was actually fumed and cursing the ManC gk - darn that Kasper, what the hell was he so committed? He had just saved a penalty from Robin Van Persie – I was like what the hell (I screamed out to mum who was half way bathing – PENALTY, Arsenal’s gonna kick) and darn he saved it, how dare him (I actually close my eyes when v. Persie took that kick)

Is ManC that good? They have not lose in the season so far and got off 3 pts against MOANERS last week. Doomed for a lose? I beg to differ as I was also busy sms-ing with Eng Hann on the miss. Then up-step Fabregas attempt which saw Arsenal won with dramatic winner ten minutes from time, unbelievable! All of a sudden, Fabregas spells F-A-B-R-E-G-R-E-A-T to me - top class, neat!

No. 4 great, Fabregas

Eng Hann reminded me, told ya our No.4 is good and I told him, I dint say he was no good, in fact – HE ROCKS and he may as well has gotten his name on my next jersey (the 2nd player to whom my jersey will have a name after BERGKAMP 10, hmm FABREGAS 4 sounds ideal rite?). He'll gets my SUPPORT FOREVER, so he betta make sure he plays well, man!

As I was still reading news from Soccernet on the post match analysis, I let out a smile on the following statement :- WENGER HUMOUR - 'When I saw my Dutch striker step up to face Schmeichel from the penalty spot, my memories went back to Dennis Bergkamp and an FA Cup semi-final against Manchester United back in 1999,' said the Arsenal boss with a chuckle. 'Then Schmeichel saves again. I just hope I don't have to meet his grandson in 20 years time'

How true as I could still remember the uneventful match as Arsenal could have nailed that match at 90 min at match level at 1-1 if not for that missed penalty by BERGKAMP and MOAN-UTD eventually emerged as winners after that stunner from Ryan Giggs. But having said that all, Dennis Bergkamp is stil da’ man for me. So glad to hear that he was voted into NATIONAL FOOTBALL MUSEUM HALL OF FAME 2007 ahead of Sir Trevor Booking, Ray Clemence, Paul Scholes, Len Shackleton & Ray Wilson. They don’t make MENs like these anymore, get my driff? And with that, DB 10 has made me his loyal supporter all over again

Tight Spot

The answer was so obvious, but apparently I’m still thinking, thinking and thinking very hard on it.

WHY?

Cos’ my heart told me I want that while my Brain heads for another one - Sounds so familiar eh? I bet everyone comes thru this stage of their life every now and then

How to choose? They both came at the same time and another one seems to be on the way too. Suddenly I have to sit down and re-evaluate the one’s that’s goin to be the BEST for me (and have NO REGRETS for it!)

What’s running thru my mind now? All the WHAT Ifs, WHAT if this is better, WHAT if that was better? WHAT if it would not turn out the way I want it to be? WHAT If the other ones can give me the stuffs that I’m looking for all my life? ARghhhhh, talk to me about CHOICES we have to make in LIFE, DARN

As I was thinking hard about the issue, the radio suddenly played this song – “Que Sera Sera, whatever will be, will be, the FUTURE’s not ours to see, Que Sera Sera, what will be, will be”

Just how this song was able to ease my uncertainties at this point of time & as I look up the SKY, GOD – I know you’ve bring me to it and you’ll be there to bring me through it…

Past Struggles, Future Gains - INDEPENDENCE DAY

Since when was I so patriotic? Can’t remember much thou but can I say I’m one of those proud ones cheering on for MALAYSIA whenever they’re up against countries esp. sporting matches (nah, I ain’t talking bout’ Msian football at all,:p)

I could still remember how I screamed my lungs out for MALAYSIA during the 92’ Thomas Cup victory over Indonesia as we emerged as Champions after Cheah Soon Kit/Soo Beng Kiang clinched the match. Dint the whole nation celebrate under the name MALAYSIA? I guess we all did and damn proud of it…

While studying in Australia, I did not let the opportunity to slip out too – its OLYMPIC, mind you! Malaysia was virtually nothing in all those competitions except for few worthy ones which we were strong in – so I chose the ultimatum, HOCKEY and found myself cheerin’ like a mad woman for Malaysia (though I’m not really sure how the points was calculated)

So what’s this hype about me writing about independence & me? 50 years down the road, Malaysia is 50 years old, phew how time passes. Celebrations and activities in country were enormous everywhere you go in Malaysia nowadays...

Recent one I attended was the Malaysian Fireworks event at Putrajaya – Simply extraordinary. Fireworks competition??? 1st time I’ve ever heard off and as usual, people arrives in flocks and jam is something not unusual and with an upcoming Floral parade running consecutively, ill bet many will struggle to juggle their time allocation (why all of sudden, there’s so much activities & so less time?)

And in counting down days to the 50th Independence Day on 31st August, I’ve been reading so much bout’ the country’s past history and its struggles. Of course, I was also cracking my head to join in the PETRONAS MERDEKA CAR CRAZE contest, whereby the Slogan goes “As a Malaysian, I have learned that….”

All those forms and receipts were waiting for me to fill, but a simple slogan seems so easy but hard to comprehend. I was like “As a Malaysian, I have learned that that we share the same passion for FOOD?, arghh I was like, no way I’m going to win a car with that creepy slogan. At that point of time, I was only thinking about ROTI CANAI & TEH TARIK, :p

I tried, tried to churn out some I thought were not that bad and below are some cracky ones :-

“As a Malaysian, I have learned that….”

a) We have stayed true to our ORIGINS
b) Multi-Culturalism that we practice was second to none
c) A truly diversed nation of amazing peoples
d) Yesteryears struggles was history beyond words
e) Independence has rewards us with PEACE, FREEDOM & ENJOYMENT
f) Past Struggles has unites us of all different races and cultures under a COMMON FLAG
g) We have the capacity to live together in diversity and difference
h) The country has served us well, thank you - Malaysia

Whaddaya think of the above? However this is the one I love best - “As a Malaysian, I have learned that INDEPENDENCE WAS NEVER OURS TO FIGHT BUT OURS TO RESPECT”
Wouldn't you agree more?

50 years has passed, it’ll soon be another dawning chapter whereby we could all make a DIFFERENCE if we all made an effort!

Happy 50th Birthday, MALAYSIA

FLAT & OUT

Man, man oh man, it’s spoilt, no response, harlo Mr Computer - what hapen to you?

Show me some response, if CPR can help I would do it but im stil unsure what went wrong. It was still okay this morning, what the heck hapen? You can’t be doing to this me when my bro (computer whiz of the house) is not in the country, I have loads to do (really felt like screaming)!!!

I tried checking on the connection, the wiring but no response but the weird thing is everything's fine except the CPU. Goodness, how am I gonna live without you for another month. I cant go online, I cant do my songs compilations, I cant check my emails, I cant check live scores, I cant blog - :(

Im realy gonna miss you man....

Different Peoples, Different Interpretations

Human Behaviours - the different types, the different personalities and how it oftens leave one bewildered and amused!

I was working at the MMU convocation - man, promotions for the graduates are really simple and straightforward. Yet, yet peoples can come back with so many different kind of response. Funny, ridiculous, obscure but yet intimidating at times. Read the below...

"Miss, how come the promotion so expensive? Can I get this and not that?Any further discount?", It's on offer and promotion period now - Sir/Madam, boss says cannot."

"Why is there so many people queueing up? I thot i dont have to queue? (harlo, auntie - even you go to a fast food outlet also you have to queue up right), blatantly c2pid question. I wana report you to student council (ohh, like i care!), go ahead by all means!"

"Miss, I didn't bring my receipt with me but im goin back to my hometown, can you let me take it? And cases continued with so many lames one coming w/o receipts, i said - NO receipt, no collection, bring the receipts or we have to charge again, hope you understand otherwise my business would close shop in no time". All these bloody excuses ...

Another funny one was the guy says he will give me a letter of undertaking to prove that he paid but lost his receipt. He said he was rushing but he dwell on the matter for 1 & half hour and i was like, "Sir - but i thot you were in a rush, i cant find your copy of the receipt, so get back another day " and i shoo him off.

Another pak cik came, wanted the individual studio package but initially wanted a double pose with family & individual - when he finishes writing his details, he has the guts to tell me - he wants the individual package. I was like darn it, fine - i ask him to re-write again & when he wrote the wrong column, i said not these but the other two, he says mana I tahu, you pointed this & this and I gave it back to him, pakcik - berapa KALI sudah saya EXPLAIN sini dengan sini? He was silent then with ppls around all looking at me (wow, this gal - dun main main with her)

Lastly, almost got into a heated conversation with a bloody gal who took the photos but not paying. Got her name and ID, wow - she was at the wrong end but scream and shouted as if there were no tomorrow and was practically lying that she was on her way back to hometown when i slapped her back telling her, "miss - yday i called you, you told me you will come over as you were at the exam unit. She continued to scream, i shouted back and said don't use these kind of tone on me as you are on the wrong as your action constitute stealing already. If you dont remit the money, we will report to your University Council and will not be held responsible for any consequences". Don't blame us later

Phew, when I think of it - man, a thing which was so simple and straightfwd but how these simple things can be translated to the many conflicts and complication at times. And with, psychology plays a big factor when they decide they want to buy or not as the grads photos are somewhat tempting for them to not take it (once in a lifetime, ma!)...

Few more days to go - I hope there won't be people coming tomorrow telling me that they've forgot to bring their lipsticks, perfumes, left their family at home or etc...


(Trust me, these people they can and will do it. Sometimes it makes one think, how one thing can be so similar yet DIFFERENT in so many ways!!!)

HOME OF THE REAL FANS

Woo Hoo, the EPL is back for the 07/08 season. Well, avid supporters would always look forward to arrival of August after what, 3 months of FOOTBALL-less! Nuff said, my TIGER FC membership says so (the centrepage fixture by TIGER FC on THE SUN) and also HEINEKEN’s been calling me for some survey or something on the CL activities that I participated not long ago serve me a reminder that you know, hello gal - EPL’s back.

CL Trophy presented by Heineken at The CURVE

Well, it’s not too bad this year though I guess especially with ASTRO, there were so many other championships or tournaments that could keep any footie freaks at bay, the one MALAYSIA lost tremendously – ASIAN CUP (really breathe a huge sigh of relief when MU decide not to come or else I can’t imagine what kinda SHAME would we’ll be in). And now there is the Champions Youth Cup (too bad Arsenal youngster played in Alor Setar, otherwise ill surely be at the stadium to rot for them)

Simon asked me few months ago on how ARSENAL would be contending on the next season with Henry’s departure? Frankly speaking, i wasn't very sure of his departure till I checked it on Soccernet, it was time he finally decided to give it a go. A year ago, if you’d been reading my blog – I was then de keen one saying HENRY would stay for life but he didn’t. But I was not defeated and my immediate reaction to Simon was – fret not, we make & turn SUPERSTARS not the other way round. Arsene’s knows what to do and I know he can do it, just wait & see.

Big football night out – you bet, the wealth of promotional activities at pubs and restaurants alike on the season kick off at SOULED OUT will drill all supporters in on the opening match especially the big one – CHELSEA vs LIVERPOOL.

ME @ Tiger FC FA Cup Trophy Roadshow at The CURVE

Which team I’ll settle – Of coz and certainly none other than ARSENAL (CL & EPL double, man!), affirmative...

FRIENDSHIP LOST

What a way to kick off this blog after a long absence. Been doin blogging using the Friendster site but i’d thot a proper site would be a better bet for me to kick off my ambitious writing passion (no pun intended, eh!) which i’ve been putting it out for so long for one reason or another.

Say why friendship to kick off this blog? I came across a nice article on the papers about FRIENDSHIP & like to share it ere’ :-

When DISTANCE sets in
You used to be just a stone’s throw away
Always accessible, readily kind
And then it became a phone away
But you were still reachable
Too soon, you seemed too distant
Yet still promptly comforting
Even as distance set us apart
Even as we led increasingly different lives

As we tread on unfamiliar paths
You were right beside me
Recalling the days of innocence we’ve spent together
It seemed I could rant to you about anything
From my trivial worries
To my worst fears and my deepest thoughts

But now distance is not an issue
Yet I feel cruelly distant from you
I shake my head in disbelief
It never crosses my mind that our friendship would come to such an END
All this time, I thought you were my friend
Like lost souls dwelling in different worlds
Is this a brutal reminder that times have changed
Is this the price we have to pay for growing up?

It feels like ages since our last conversation
Since I heard your reassuring voice
Where are you, I really need you now
There might be a million people around me
But none can be YOU
Cause you’re my precious friend
And I miss you more than words can say
Someday still hoping, hoping our friendship may be restored

Specially dedicated to my friends whom i’ve met or somehow lost touch throughout the years.

WEI - Still giving you the benefit of doubt, i’m persevering, not ready to lose you, my friend
SIMON - Dude & my footie rival buddy, 2 years lapsed but so glad to have found you back (yes, ALIVE, :p). Cherish the friendship lots, thou times may change but I trust those good ol' times will bring back fond memories

For whatsoeva reason hapen, I’m confident somehow, someday we will be smiling & laughing together again like we’ve used to for I know & believe, FRIENDS ARE FOREVER.